In a development that has left Old Trafford in disbelief, Manchester United’s Megastore confirmed the sale of its first Rasmus Højlund shirt last week, nearly two years after the Danish striker joined the club from Atalanta for a hefty £72 million in August 2023. The solitary purchase, described by staff as “a statistical anomaly,” marks the first time anyone has willingly emblazoned the name of the goal-shy forward on their back, a feat previously accomplished only by Højlund himself during his disastrous moments on the pitch.
The anonymous buyer, a Chorley local described as “either a visionary or a masochist” by onlookers, becomes just the second person to sport a Højlund shirt, the other being Højlund himself . “I thought it was a prank,” said Megastore cashier Debbie Knowles, 41, who processed the sale. “The lad walked in, bold as brass, and said, ‘Højlund 9, please.’ I checked the stockroom twice, thinking we’d binned those shirts ages ago next to the unsold Mason Mount bobbleheads. We handn’t even bothered ordering in any of those funny Danish Øs.”
Højlund, whose knack for missing sitters has become a staple of X memes and pub banter, has struggled to justify his price tag since arriving as a supposed “generational talent.” Fans have dubbed him “The Danish Heskey,” with one viral post on X quipping, “Højlund’s got a better chance of scoring in a pub quiz than in the Premier League.” His latest effort—a scuffed shot straight at a Burnley goalkeeper’s shins—prompted groans so loud they were reportedly heard in Manchester city center. Yet, the mystery buyer remained undeterred. Spotted outside the Megastore, he declared, “Rasmus is just warming up. You’ll see. He’s got… passion.” Witnesses claim he then air-kicked a crisp packet while attempting Højlund’s trademark celebration.
The Megastore, which has shifted thousands of Bruno Fernandes and Alejandro Garnacho shirts, had reportedly considered repurposing Højlund stock as tea towels. “We were shocked,” Knowles admitted. “We’ve got more chance of selling Antony for a profit than a Højlund shirt. This guy’s either a time traveler who knows something we don’t or he lost a bet.” Bookmakers have since slashed odds on a second Højlund shirt sale before 2026, though one punter scoffed, “I’d rather bet on Rasmus scoring a hat-trick.”
Club insiders remain skeptical about a Højlund merchandise boom. “He’s got the work rate, sure, but strikers are judged on goals, not sprints,” said a source close to the team. “If he scores 10 next season, we’ll throw a parade. Until then, expect his shirts to stay on the clearance rack.” The Megastore is offering a 15% discount on Højlund shirts until someone else buys one—or until he scores, whichever feels less likely. “It’s a collector’s item now,” Knowles said, dusting off a stack of unsold Andre Onana posters. “One day, people might look back and say, ‘I was there when Højlund was… well, Højlund.’”
