In a bold act of follicular defiance, Liverpool supporter Tom Wilkins, 28, from Bootle, has sworn off the barber’s chair until the Reds string together a single victory.
Wilkins announced his pledge on X after Liverpool’s third straight defeat—a gut-wrenching 2-1 loss to Chelsea last weekend – vowing to let his mane (not Sadio) grow unchecked until Arne Slot’s side finally tastes triumph.
The Merseysiders’ misery kicked off with a shock 2-1 defeat at Crystal Palace, followed by a 1-0 humbling at Galatasary in the Champions League, and capped by Estêvão’s dagger-like stoppage-time winner at Stamford Bridge last weekend.
“Look, I’m a loyal supporter,” explained Wilkins, speaking to us from the dimly lit sanctuary of his basement, which now doubles as a shrine to the 2024/25 title-winning season. “But I need to take a stand. I need to make a gesture. I’ve seen other fans—specifically that poor bloke at United—vow to grow their hair until their club wins five in a row. Five! That’s just showing off, isn’t it? I’m keeping it realistic. I’m starting with the single-game streak.”
Wilkins, whose current hairstyle could best be described as ‘a hungover Phil Spector,’ understands the magnitude of his pledge.
“It’s a long road,” he admitted, running a hand through a nascent tangle. “We’re talking about potentially months, possibly even a calendar year, before the squad manages to align the stars, get a favourable VAR decision, and remember how to defend a set piece, all in the same 90-minute window. I might look like a Wookiee before I see a three-point return.”
As other Liverpool fans replicate Wilkins’ pledge, barbers across Merseyside have reportedly joined forces to protest the club’s form and threatened industrial action. “We can’t keep cancelling appointments every time they bottle a lead,” complained Tony from The Kop Chop. “If this continues, the entire region will resemble the cast of Withnail & I by Christmas.”
